I want to discuss this sexual epedemic between long term couples or those who are married They don’t want to have sex with one another. Now there are exceptions to this rule but for the most part, I’ve noticed a sexual dysfunction in relationships. And why is that? Really? Why can’t we just easily make love to each other in our home in a commitment, in a marriage, etc.? There’s usually some issues. I’m working on figuring this situation out because I refuse to believe that couples can’t have a beautiful, sexy, long-term relationship. I refuse to believe that. Now I understand that not every couple’s goal or their measure of success is to have plenty of sex. I understand that. But I think for at least 75% of couples out there, at least one out of the two want to have a consistent, healthy, steady flow of sex. Some couples, the issue is that the lady doesn’t want it anymore. I have so many friends that were hoes, excuse me, I use that word hoe in the highest of meanings. I don’t want the word hoe to be derogatory. I am taking the power out of it by using it freely and lovingly...
(About to slip in to a 10 minute rant right here....)
I can’t believe we have demeaned women for so many years because they enjoy sex. That is stupid. That is society’s way of controlling women’s sexuality by telling them that having and enjoying sex with different people is wrong and makes them bad women. That is complete nonsense. In the female ancestry, going back in ancient years, sex was used to heal, to share, to give, for pleasure, to transcend. Virgins had a whole different meaning. Virgin didn’t mean that one never had sex. It meant that a woman was whole—not possessed by any man. She was pure unto herself, and free. There would be vestal virgin rituals where the virgins would use their sexual skills to serve the moon goddess and bless the lives of her human devotees. Sometimes sex wasn’t even used for her own pleasure, or to procreate but was dedicated to a higher purpose, that of bringing the fertilizing power of the goddess into contact with human beings. And any child that may be conceived during these times of “hoeing” were considered divine. The child took on a special destiny in the royal succession. This promiscuous love making took place in the darkness of a sacred cave so that nobody knew who lay with whom nor who was the father of any child. This explains how origins of the legends that describe how Latin Kings were born of a virgin mother with no known father or the newborns were considered to be the son of god. In fact, many of the kings of early Rome were the sons of vestal virgins. The most famous of these was Romulus, first King of Rome, who was born to the vestal virgin Rhea Silvia. Consequently, the communities religious and political focus centered around these activities.
As time passed, however, and the patriarchal culture began to assume prominence, the line of descent shifted away from the vestals to the kings by marriage who implemented ways to retain their throne. Gradually, they extended the kinship from one year, to four years, to eight, to nineteen, until finally it became a life tenure. To further insure that the line of descent remained on the male side, the king, on the death of his wife, married either his own daughter or her heir; or arranged for his son to marry them. This phenomenon accounts for the widespread custom of brother-sister marriages within royal families during this era. As a result of the rise of the patriarchal culture, the vestal love nymphs were eventually reduced to the barren spinster nuns of the Middle Ages. So prior to these changes, sex was powerfully and beautifully used by these virgins to serve the moon goddess and bless the lives of her human devotees. That instinct is still in us now, but because society has ignored these natural pure motivations and condemned such open sexual expression as immoral and wicked—the condemnation has internalized and our modern day vestal virgins experience guilt and shame over their sexual responses.
Men too, have a similar issue. They sense the sexual needs of women and they want to serve, yet they want to remain whole unto themselves “virgins.” This causes them to shun long-term commitment and they are then labeled gigolos, heartbreakers, users, only after one thing. So what we have in society, are people who are afraid to express their sexual truth because they fear social ridicule. Therefore, they have hidden affairs or they go to the other extreme and sexually deprive themselves. It is so easy to observe the different levels of sexuality when you go to places like Amsterdam and visit their red light district, where prostitution is legal, regulated and bolstered. The last time I was there I was by myself, standing in the middle of the red light district where there is just street after street of women in little 15 X 6 ft apartments. Tiny little spaces where they are standing in the doorway or the windows, half naked, soliciting sex. This is their line of work. And there are different sections—you have the lower class, bullet holes in their legs, missing teeth, etc. You have you classic beauty, hightr priced section, your negro street with all the black women. You have your anomaly section, with trans gender, and unique fetishes. There is of course, homosexual section. You name it its around for blocks and blocks. It’s a writer’s paradise and voyeur’s paradise. So I’m standing in the middle of the red light district and this beautiful Surynam young man comes up to me. The Surynese are really prevelant in Amsterdam due to …. He comes up to me and asks why am I alone out here. A young attractive American all by herself at midnight. Why? I tell him I’m visiting and I just want to observe and that I was waiting for a sign of what to do next and sense you came right uo to me you must be the one that’s going to escort me around. Would you do that.? He says sure. Come to find out he’s a big time local drug dealer so he knows everything about the streets. He takes me to the different areas and we talk to the girls. Half of them seem quite content on a deep level. Some are quitre aloof , like this is just a job, I need to make siome money and go home. But we go up tone girl and he asks her if she would give me a tour of her room. She obliges and is quite welcoming. I believe her name was Christie. Beautiful. My age at the time 26, Aries , tall, svelte body, dark hair, white but you can tell her ancestory has some greek or Italian in there somewhere. So bright, so loving. The room is the size of a huge bathroom. With a little bed, a sink, and a lever to pull incase of an emergency. CVery modest. Very simple. I ask Christie right off if she likes her job. She gives an outstanding, “Oh yeah! I love it. Lots of freedom. I make my own hours. I only have to work a few days a week and I love having sex. But my boyfriend isn’t too crazy about it. He’s ready for me to quit. But I tell him look we’re so lucky because I only have to do this for six months then I’m off for six months then I come back. It’s great. He’ll be ok.” I ask her what’s the craziest thing she has seen. She proceeds to tell me how she has this one regular customer who begs her to wear her highest heels and then loves for her to stomp all over his feet and hands until they can hear the bones crushing then he wants to have sex. Then there is this other guy who brings a gallon of water, she drinks it then he explodes with ecstasy as she urinates all over him. Then there’s this one guy who always wants her to shit on him but she can’t do that. That’s where she draws the line. Plus it’s hard to control when you can defecate or not. But she just sends him next door because her neighbor can shit on command. It’s a skill. I aks her if she ever falls in love. She said maybe once but for the most part she stays quite detached and just enjoys the sport. I ask what if they are unattractive? She says that rarely happens. She can basically find the beauty in everyone but if it’s really bad, she’ll just let them hit it from the back. Now, after spending some time with her, I’m a decent judge of character quickly. And I must say. This was a an intelligent, grounded, mentally healthy young lady. Her decisions were clearly by choice. She is not being forced into anything. She loves her job. More than most people with “good” jobs. She is excited, stimulated, enjoys herself and everyday is a new adventure. We then leave her, say our goodbyes. But then there is another side to the story. And we come to another section where there is this beautiful African woman in the window. She’s older, mid-40’s, rich dark skin, worn, you can see the weight of the world is now taking it’s toll on her body. But she still has an innate beauty that radiates so strongly. She sees my drug dealer friend and she’s flirting, smiling, flashjing her thighs. , winking calling him over. But then I appear from around the corner and she immediately stops. She looks at me deeply, takes me all in as our eyes connect and I was overwhelmed with grief—I felt everything with just that quick connected glimpse..She quickly turns away from the both of us. I could feel how ashamed she was for a sister to see her this way. So ashamed for a young girl, her daughter, to see her this way. This was not where she wanted to be. She was so cold on the inside. So tired. So low. So depleted. I wanted to wrap a blanket around her and tell her that I love her and I see who she really is and this current situation can change so quickly. Don’t worry. I turn to Surynam as we walk away and I tell him that I feel terrible for her. She’s not happy. He explains to me that so many women come over form Africa and Surynam because they are promised that they can make a good living here form being a housekeeper,etc. So they come over so they can send money back to their kids. But when they get here they are quickly disillusioned at how hard it ist to make ends meet, yet alone support theiur family back home. So they end up being forced into prostitution out of desperation. I just started thinking how much much power is connected with the female body. You can have sex with as many men as you want as long as it’s healthy, from the heart and what you really want to do, Even if that’s how you choose to make money-prostitution, stripping, etc—if it legitimately comes from a healthy place. But it’s just a handful of women in those professions where it actually comes from a healthy place. But if it does, so be it. You do you. But when one feels that there is no other place they can go. They don’t want to but they must sell their body, they are hungry, no other way to get money, some Daddy issue, or lack of self worth, or any mental psychosis--then that’s when there needs to be a change.
I think most women think about stripping or prostitution, at least for a quick second. I spent quite a few hours on it. I’m in LA, running around auditioning, taking classes, needing new headshots, and need to go to new seminars. Plus, I just needed to keep up with my expensive Cali lifestyle, I remember telling my boyfriend that I’m thinking about stripping. It didn’t go over too well. I didn’t want to get a regular job. I’ve done all that before. Iwanted quick easy money. I figured, I like to dance, I like sexiness, and I like people. It’s a win win for everyone. Furthermore, I’m mentally healthy, I have a degree I know I don’t have to do this. But I’m making a well thought out decision to. No sex would be involved. It’s just acting. My argument diudn’t go over very well and the boyfriend had serious beef. So we compromised and I decided to become a dominatrix.
I love Amsterdam, I really do—not to mention the coffee shops they have on every corner 9when I talk about weed) I enjoy going to Amsterdam. Amsterdam is my spot, for a couple of different reasons. Basically, they enjoyed sex—loved it. They had a very healthy, open approach to sex when they use to date. But once they got engaged or married they just didn’t want it anymore. One girlfriend of mine literally cries when she has to have sex with her fiancé. And this is a girl who was basically a porn star before she got engaged. And I’m like is it because when you are first having sex it is i=s with the base chakra you are using and it’s just for the need, pleasure, lust, excitement, fun—all good things in a way—if done healthily. But whne you get into a relationship you start trying to raise higher up and get to the top charkas and there it’s not that anymore it is more of a spiritual love. Or is it because when you live wsith someone and are around someone for some time—after awhike you start seeuing them as your sister or your brother or your daddy or mommy—your buddy and the sex just dissipates? Or is it so mental and you can change that or maybe we really aren’t suppodwed to be worried anout and having sex all the time the media has just made us thik that so we‘re worried if wwe don’t have sex everyday or once as week or may be we are or maybe just everybody is different and there is no one answer you just have to do what brings you joy follow you bliss follow your joyus you do what makes you happy evety bnpdy has their own unique thing that makes them happy there ios enough of everything to make everyone happy because everybody’s needs are different. There’s such abundance. We all want and need a different type a man, woman, job, kids, trips, houses, homes, love, relationships, everyone is so beautifully different. There is no one answer. There is no one answer. There is no one answer. Except love.
As time passed, however, and the patriarchal culture began to assume prominence, the line of descent shifted away from the vestals to the kings by marriage who implemented ways to retain their throne. Gradually, they extended the kinship from one year, to four years, to eight, to nineteen, until finally it became a life tenure. To further insure that the line of descent remained on the male side, the king, on the death of his wife, married either his own daughter or her heir; or arranged for his son to marry them. This phenomenon accounts for the widespread custom of brother-sister marriages within royal families during this era. As a result of the rise of the patriarchal culture, the vestal love nymphs were eventually reduced to the barren spinster nuns of the Middle Ages. So prior to these changes, sex was powerfully and beautifully used by these virgins to serve the moon goddess and bless the lives of her human devotees. That instinct is still in us now, but because society has ignored these natural pure motivations and condemned such open sexual expression as immoral and wicked—the condemnation has internalized and our modern day vestal virgins experience guilt and shame over their sexual responses.
Men too, have a similar issue. They sense the sexual needs of women and they want to serve, yet they want to remain whole unto themselves “virgins.” This causes them to shun long-term commitment and they are then labeled gigolos, heartbreakers, users, only after one thing. So what we have in society, are people who are afraid to express their sexual truth because they fear social ridicule. Therefore, they have hidden affairs or they go to the other extreme and sexually deprive themselves. It is so easy to observe the different levels of sexuality when you go to places like Amsterdam and visit their red light district, where prostitution is legal, regulated and bolstered. The last time I was there I was by myself, standing in the middle of the red light district where there is just street after street of women in little 15 X 6 ft apartments. Tiny little spaces where they are standing in the doorway or the windows, half naked, soliciting sex. This is their line of work. And there are different sections—you have the lower class, bullet holes in their legs, missing teeth, etc. You have you classic beauty, hightr priced section, your negro street with all the black women. You have your anomaly section, with trans gender, and unique fetishes. There is of course, homosexual section. You name it its around for blocks and blocks. It’s a writer’s paradise and voyeur’s paradise. So I’m standing in the middle of the red light district and this beautiful Surynam young man comes up to me. The Surynese are really prevelant in Amsterdam due to …. He comes up to me and asks why am I alone out here. A young attractive American all by herself at midnight. Why? I tell him I’m visiting and I just want to observe and that I was waiting for a sign of what to do next and sense you came right uo to me you must be the one that’s going to escort me around. Would you do that.? He says sure. Come to find out he’s a big time local drug dealer so he knows everything about the streets. He takes me to the different areas and we talk to the girls. Half of them seem quite content on a deep level. Some are quitre aloof , like this is just a job, I need to make siome money and go home. But we go up tone girl and he asks her if she would give me a tour of her room. She obliges and is quite welcoming. I believe her name was Christie. Beautiful. My age at the time 26, Aries , tall, svelte body, dark hair, white but you can tell her ancestory has some greek or Italian in there somewhere. So bright, so loving. The room is the size of a huge bathroom. With a little bed, a sink, and a lever to pull incase of an emergency. CVery modest. Very simple. I ask Christie right off if she likes her job. She gives an outstanding, “Oh yeah! I love it. Lots of freedom. I make my own hours. I only have to work a few days a week and I love having sex. But my boyfriend isn’t too crazy about it. He’s ready for me to quit. But I tell him look we’re so lucky because I only have to do this for six months then I’m off for six months then I come back. It’s great. He’ll be ok.” I ask her what’s the craziest thing she has seen. She proceeds to tell me how she has this one regular customer who begs her to wear her highest heels and then loves for her to stomp all over his feet and hands until they can hear the bones crushing then he wants to have sex. Then there is this other guy who brings a gallon of water, she drinks it then he explodes with ecstasy as she urinates all over him. Then there’s this one guy who always wants her to shit on him but she can’t do that. That’s where she draws the line. Plus it’s hard to control when you can defecate or not. But she just sends him next door because her neighbor can shit on command. It’s a skill. I aks her if she ever falls in love. She said maybe once but for the most part she stays quite detached and just enjoys the sport. I ask what if they are unattractive? She says that rarely happens. She can basically find the beauty in everyone but if it’s really bad, she’ll just let them hit it from the back. Now, after spending some time with her, I’m a decent judge of character quickly. And I must say. This was a an intelligent, grounded, mentally healthy young lady. Her decisions were clearly by choice. She is not being forced into anything. She loves her job. More than most people with “good” jobs. She is excited, stimulated, enjoys herself and everyday is a new adventure. We then leave her, say our goodbyes. But then there is another side to the story. And we come to another section where there is this beautiful African woman in the window. She’s older, mid-40’s, rich dark skin, worn, you can see the weight of the world is now taking it’s toll on her body. But she still has an innate beauty that radiates so strongly. She sees my drug dealer friend and she’s flirting, smiling, flashjing her thighs. , winking calling him over. But then I appear from around the corner and she immediately stops. She looks at me deeply, takes me all in as our eyes connect and I was overwhelmed with grief—I felt everything with just that quick connected glimpse..She quickly turns away from the both of us. I could feel how ashamed she was for a sister to see her this way. So ashamed for a young girl, her daughter, to see her this way. This was not where she wanted to be. She was so cold on the inside. So tired. So low. So depleted. I wanted to wrap a blanket around her and tell her that I love her and I see who she really is and this current situation can change so quickly. Don’t worry. I turn to Surynam as we walk away and I tell him that I feel terrible for her. She’s not happy. He explains to me that so many women come over form Africa and Surynam because they are promised that they can make a good living here form being a housekeeper,etc. So they come over so they can send money back to their kids. But when they get here they are quickly disillusioned at how hard it ist to make ends meet, yet alone support theiur family back home. So they end up being forced into prostitution out of desperation. I just started thinking how much much power is connected with the female body. You can have sex with as many men as you want as long as it’s healthy, from the heart and what you really want to do, Even if that’s how you choose to make money-prostitution, stripping, etc—if it legitimately comes from a healthy place. But it’s just a handful of women in those professions where it actually comes from a healthy place. But if it does, so be it. You do you. But when one feels that there is no other place they can go. They don’t want to but they must sell their body, they are hungry, no other way to get money, some Daddy issue, or lack of self worth, or any mental psychosis--then that’s when there needs to be a change.
I think most women think about stripping or prostitution, at least for a quick second. I spent quite a few hours on it. I’m in LA, running around auditioning, taking classes, needing new headshots, and need to go to new seminars. Plus, I just needed to keep up with my expensive Cali lifestyle, I remember telling my boyfriend that I’m thinking about stripping. It didn’t go over too well. I didn’t want to get a regular job. I’ve done all that before. Iwanted quick easy money. I figured, I like to dance, I like sexiness, and I like people. It’s a win win for everyone. Furthermore, I’m mentally healthy, I have a degree I know I don’t have to do this. But I’m making a well thought out decision to. No sex would be involved. It’s just acting. My argument diudn’t go over very well and the boyfriend had serious beef. So we compromised and I decided to become a dominatrix.
I love Amsterdam, I really do—not to mention the coffee shops they have on every corner 9when I talk about weed) I enjoy going to Amsterdam. Amsterdam is my spot, for a couple of different reasons. Basically, they enjoyed sex—loved it. They had a very healthy, open approach to sex when they use to date. But once they got engaged or married they just didn’t want it anymore. One girlfriend of mine literally cries when she has to have sex with her fiancé. And this is a girl who was basically a porn star before she got engaged. And I’m like is it because when you are first having sex it is i=s with the base chakra you are using and it’s just for the need, pleasure, lust, excitement, fun—all good things in a way—if done healthily. But whne you get into a relationship you start trying to raise higher up and get to the top charkas and there it’s not that anymore it is more of a spiritual love. Or is it because when you live wsith someone and are around someone for some time—after awhike you start seeuing them as your sister or your brother or your daddy or mommy—your buddy and the sex just dissipates? Or is it so mental and you can change that or maybe we really aren’t suppodwed to be worried anout and having sex all the time the media has just made us thik that so we‘re worried if wwe don’t have sex everyday or once as week or may be we are or maybe just everybody is different and there is no one answer you just have to do what brings you joy follow you bliss follow your joyus you do what makes you happy evety bnpdy has their own unique thing that makes them happy there ios enough of everything to make everyone happy because everybody’s needs are different. There’s such abundance. We all want and need a different type a man, woman, job, kids, trips, houses, homes, love, relationships, everyone is so beautifully different. There is no one answer. There is no one answer. There is no one answer. Except love.
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