Eating and Shitting

Eating correctly is so important. I will not say what is the right thing for you to eat and what is not because I think to each is really own. You have to find out what’s right for you. But what I do recommend is taking some time out fasting and then food by food, see what works well with your body.

For me, it’s all about fish. I can eat fish all the time—wild fish, not fish that has been farm raised and injected with color so that it can look pretty, but healthy fish. I do believe that everything is energy so you want to make sure that the food you are eating has good energy. So if you are going to eat beef—I advise that you start inquiring and making sure that the beef or chicken, or pork that you are eating was not forced to stay in tiny quarters shitting on itself and having to eat it’s friend just to stay alive. Make sure they were happy animals. That is a hard thing to guarantee but it is necessary that you look into it because you don’t want to eat a chicken who has been tortured its whole life and forced food to fatten it up, or a lamb that has been, restrained and not allowed to walk so that its leg muscles can stay soft so you can have the most tender veal you have ever eaten, or a duck who has been forced fed cornmeal until it’s throat and stomach were about to burst...Its whole life was lived in pain— You don’t want to put that delicious fois gras into your body. I don’t think it’s necessary for everybody to be vegan or vegetarian. As a matter of fact, I believe some people require meat in their diets, but I do believe that we as a people must be conscious of the way animals are treated and handled. Nothing should ever be tortured. I believe that all our needs are provided for on this earth, the greens, the meat, just like the lion can eat an antelope—it is here for consumption. But this is a beautiful gift provided us and it should be treated with reverence, appreciated, respected and never mistreated and abused. I personally eat a lot of fish and greens but you will find an occasional lax in my rules when my mom or grandma cooks. And every once in a while, I derive so much bliss from a Whopper with fries.

I do wonder, going off my early statement, if everything is energy, I wonder where does it stop? Our society use to neglect the needs of animals, now, thank goodness, we care deeply. There are serious animal rights and some people due to their love of animals, are avid vegetarians. I wonder when we will look at plants and say, no I can’t have a salad because that lettuce is alive, those fruits are life. I know people who won’t eat nuts or seeds because it is the root of life and they don’t want to eat the source. Are we tripping? And truly what it comes down to it, is ignorance is bliss? And when you read and know too much you are scared to do anything? When does it stop? What is ok, who really makes the rules/? All I know is that for me, I just go off of what my body tells me. After truly observing, I’ve noticed that my body just processes certain foods better. And I think the best thing in the world is to be able to eat and then release, have your system as clean as possible. Everything flowing is the goal. Flowing, eliminating, releasing, shitting.

Shitting is so important to me. I will have a bad day if I don’t shit early in the day. The best days are when I get out three good shits, at least two (you’re supposed to get rid of everything that goes in.) I am so into shit. It’s such a beautiful feeling, orgasmic even--when I have that release. I have such energy surrounding shit and 3 stories regarding shitting that I had a hard time picking which one I wanted to share. I have one that involved a colonic, the other involved someone else--but I’ve decided to go with the prune juice story:

Every once in a while when I’m feeling a little backed up—I drink a nice healthy dose of prune juice. 4 large cups at one setting. Now I understand that if I do this, I have to make sure I have no where to be for the next 12 hours because you don’t know when it will strike and start working for you to release. The first time I tried I was in college and had been stressed and my body wasn’t functioning properly so I decided to get a little help. I drank one cup of prune juice. I waited 10 minutes and nothing happened—patience was never my best virtue, especially back then. I proceeded to drink over half of this decent sized bottle. Still nothing. But I was disgusted and couldn’t do anymore. I went on with my evening plans—I had a date with my long-term boyfriend. I couldn’t wait to go see him. I got all cute, got in the car, driving on the highway—all of a sudden I hear loud bubbles, I mean LOUD—it’s like GURGLE, GURGLE. My stomach is literally doing flips. I had never felt anything like this before—I mean huge flips and the sounds it was making you could honestly hear it way over my loud radio. I felt like something was trying to get out, like an alien or something, it was so strong. I was about to explode then it quickly moved into my lower abdomen….ahhhh oh no, oh no oh no….I have to shit! Right now! (I mean there was no time to make plans or to think.) I have to SHIT, explode, right this second.. I immediately pull off to the side and go a little down the ramp but it’s too late, I feel the warmth in my pants. There is absolutely no holding it, it just seeks out because the prune juice makes it liquid shit. So I’m spewing shit out of my ass at lightening speed and I park the car, jump out into the grassy knoll, pull down my pants and it’s is a blitz-kreig, a lightening war! I can’t explain all the different types of shit that came out of me. The liquid, little balls, mulchy shit, plasma like shit and it’s just coming non-stop. I shitted out stuff from when I was 3 years old. I even shit out a Barbie shoe. Cars are driving by—I’m kinda hidden but I’m not, so at least two people see me but I can’t even pay them any mind I’m purely in survival mode. Trying to get myself free of these toxins that have to be removed without any hesitation. After a four minute fire work show. It stops. But I’m sitting in the dark off the highway in a pool of shit. It’s all over me, all over my clothes, and the car. The only sort of tissue I have is my bloody maxi pad (because of course I’m on my period too) So I’m wiping myself off with my bloody shitty maxi pad. I then get back in my funky car. The smell is indescribable. I’m shaken, defeated, lost in life, demoralized, weak. I had to have let go of 5lbs of shit and water. The only thing I can do is go back home. I’m crying because I just feel so low, so confused, invaded. I felt like my body betrayed me. I just stare into the darkness trying to figure out my life. I’m telling you, an incident like that makes you think about your meaning in this life—because you have been completely stripped. I arrive home, my roommates like, “Hey what’s up I thought you had a date?’ I quickly run past her door without making any eye contact or speaking. I just hope she doesn’t catch a whiff of my shit. I take my clothes off, throw them in the washer, turn the shower water on and then my phone rings. It’s my boyfriend. I’m like oh shit. What do I say? At this point in my life we’re really close but I was still young and embarrassed and I hadn’t really processed this event for myself yet. I answer and he is concerned, then upset. With suppressed anger he asks, “What is going on, you said you left an hour and a half ago. What are you doing? Did you go to see someone else? Is someone else there? Why are you being so quiet Tina? What’s wrong with you Tina? Why can’t you just tell me Tina? I thought we were close Tina? You have to be able to talk to me Tina. You’re scaring me Tina! What what? Whaaat? Don’t lie to me Tina! Tina Tina Tina!” And I just explode—“I shitted on myseeeeeeeeelf!!!!!! Okaaay?!!! I drank prune juice and hour later it took effect. I was driving to see you and I shitted on myself!” Silence. Crickets. He then says, “ Oh…oh ok Tina. You ok? Alright you handle your business, okie dokie bye.” We never talk about it again.

I share this story because I want there to be open communication between us. Meaning, I want you to know that I have no filter. I am honest and I want you to be free and honest with me. Let’s be so real, down to the darkest of the darkest of our truths, thoughts, stories, however dark it is. For example, let’s you’ve always thought of having sex with your dad or suffocating your cat. Not saying at all to act on it. But the truth is, it is only natural that these thoughts pop up into your conscious mind because they live so vividly in the subconscious, the beast part of yourself, the animal, the primal. Release it in these venues so they don’t haunt you. Just because you think about stuff that you feel is “ungodly” doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. They are thoughts—creativity. No judgments. It’s just you and me. And I have no right to ever judge.